What is meditation?

Meditation is the process of focusing the mind for a period of time. Throughout our days our mind can become cluttered with so many thoughts and passing emotions. How refreshing would it be if we could actually learn to harness the power of the focused intention into something that works for us rather than allowing our minds to wander aimlessly wherever it may during our days? How wonderful will it be to understand the inner workings of our minds and have control over our thoughts and feelings? How helpful would it be to be able to see through the pretense and fog that surrounds experience into the heart of truth without being a slave to our whirlwind of emotions? This is all possible through the process of consistent meditation practice.

Different types of meditation.

Meditation can be practiced in different forms and through different traditions around the world though it is generally associated with the traditions of Asia.

  1. 1)  Centering Meditation (Zazen) is the process of focusing on the breath as a means of allowing one’s self to center.
  2. 2)  Insight Meditation (Vippashana) is the process of watching the mind in a meditative state through observation of thoughts for a deeper understanding of how the mind works.
  3. 3)  Visualization Meditation is the process of putting something in the mind and allowing the mind to respond to it. Typically from Asian Tradition this involves hero or mythological figures who represent ideals and energies far greater than self.
  4. 4)  Mantra Meditation is the process of calming the mind by focusing on a sound or specific sounds. Typically these sounds are primitive utterances that have no real meaning but vibrate within the mind at frequencies that create higher states of consciousness. The word “Om” is an example of a mantra that is often recited.
  5. 5)  Integrated Spirit Meditation (Mikkyo) characterizes the Japanese and Tibetan esoteric Buddhist Traditions and involves the “Sanmitsu” (three secrets) three part blending of a physical posturing, a verbalization, and a visualization as a means to identify with and relate to self as highest truth.
  6. 6)  Contemplation is the process of thinking deeply or reflecting on a specific topic or question.

This practice will explore the basic breathing/centering process that is the foundation for meditation.

Finding a practice.

The most important key to meditation practice is to do it, consistently, over a long period of time. Your mind exists as a culmination of all the experiences you’ve had up to this point in your life, retraining it will be a difficult but exciting process that won’t happen overnight.

Creating a sacred space.

You should find one place in which you do your meditation practice daily. It doesn’t matter where this but it should be a simple, uncluttered space with good air circulation and uninterrupted privacy free from phone calls and noise. It’s important that you clean, dust, and vacuum this space at least once per week. You may enjoy lighting a candle and/or a stick of incense to help you get into a meditative state but this is not necessary. You may also enjoy having a simple wall hanging that represents more of what you want to be. Meditation cushions are available commercially for floor sitting but a pillow or a chair will work just fine. A bowl of salt in the room will help to dispel any negativity.

Beginning your practice.

This practice is known as “Susoku-Kan” in Japanese.

Sit down in your chair or on your cushion. Light candle or incense if you desire. It’s a good idea not to blow out the incense but rather to shake in the air or fan it out with your hand.
Take a deep breath hold it. Allow your back to straighten and settle in. Then let the breath go.
Take a moment to appreciate the significance of this time for yourself, free from the pressures and distractions of daily life.
Set the timer for however long you wish to practice…it’s a good idea to start with 10 minutes and work up from there.
Allow your eyes to close gently and begin to notice your breathing.

Follow three cycles of breath just feeling the breath go in and out.
Begin to count the out breaths 1 through 10. Breath in, out…1, in…out…2…etc. When a thought or distraction creeps into your mind, notice it, and let it go. Then start counting again from 1. If you get all the way to 10, (10 breath cycles) without distraction, then start again. There is no goal of getting to 10…it’s simply to sit and be.
Continue this practice until the timer sounds.
Take a moment of gratitude to appreciate the time you just spent with yourself before you transition back into your daily life.
Gently put out the candle or incense by fanning rather than blowing. (if you chose to use them)

That’s all there is to it. This practice is profound in its simplicity. Later, there are plenty of other practices to do if you enjoy this type of training and you may find yourself sitting without counting breaths after a time. This is fine. Be sure to observe the changes in your life rather than watching the practice itself for results.

My best wishes for the most positive of experiences as you venture inward. Ganbatte Kudasai. (“Do your best” in Japanese).

In brightness,

As I sit by the fire sipping red wine and watching the sun set behind clouds that are obscuring the full moon, I am reminded of what has become a very important lesson I received as a teenager.

I have many friends who are life coaches, motivational speakers, Tony Robbins fans etc who are into what I think of as the “Push Mindset.” Simply put, they are constantly pushing themselves, pushing their bodies, pushing their lives…and aren’t happy unless they are pushing. Some of them even enjoy screaming motivational lines to themselves as inspiration.

Nothing wrong with this approach as it does have its merits, feels good…and will certainly wake you up in the morning.

But I am reminded of a time when I was a teenager and was as type A as could be…always full of questions, always wanting more, etc.

I had the opportunity to spend several periods of time with a Japanese meditation master. Our 10 day trainings were very structured – they would start before dawn and include hours of meditation and work practice known as “samu-gyo.” Samugyo is well known to anyone who has done it as it is essentially mindless work. In our case it often involved hours of pulling nails out of boards.

Curiously though, between all of the intense structured activities, Sensei would schedule breaks…2 or so hours of rest time where he would retire to either work on one of his books or just take a nap. This puzzled me as it seemed like a waste of time to someone who wanted to ask more questions, wanted to push harder, go on a hike, learn the secrets of wizardry, etc.  Lunch and dinner were also long ordeals that sometimes lasted so long that my legs would become numb sitting on the floor.

As I got to know him more and more I realized he was one of the few people I had ever met who truly had his life together…and while always busy with what he called the “next challenge,” he always took lots of time for rest, tea, and light hearted conversation. And he was the happiest person I had ever seen.

This led me to realize over the years that one of the secrets that has helped me create success is perhaps the opposite of this push mindset. It’s the notion of creating space and allowing. Within this sacred space that can be the matrix for anything we wish to manifest, there is no need for screaming, no need for pushing, and no need for constant output or ego strengthening.

Simply put, it is the way of getting out of our own way so that we can *realize* our true potential as opposed to attempting to force it.

All things in the universe seek to be in balance. Yin seeks yang and yang seeks yin hence the bonds that happen between male and female. This push mindset is very akin to the behavior of American football coaches in that it is way out of balance yang. This tends to be a very American mindset as we do much to engage our egos. It’s ingrained into the fabric of our culture.

The major problem with the Push Approach is that it creates an addictive behavior pattern – not unlike meth, you have to get your daily fix whether that comes from your own rituals or needing to attend the next seminar. Additionally, you an never have enough – what is the end point? What’s the goal even?

It also strengthens and builds the ego in that it creates an identity that becomes part of who you are and you are left maintaining a persona.

Many of the coaches and speakers I know in this category must exert a lot of energy maintaining their personas when the reality of who they really are they keep buried but it is very very different from what they show the world.

The thing about my early trainings with the Japanese master is that they were perfectly balanced. Periods of yin meditation were balanced with yang work. Periods of yang hiking and exertion were balance with rest. And the meals were an elaborate interplay of yin and yang. The end result – balance.  There was no need to strengthen our egos because every moment of the training was so real.

As I’ve traveled around the world, I’ve noticed that other cultures move slower and lighter, they take more time for meals and for rests during the day. How often do we find ourselves rushing to the next meal with so much on our minds that we forget something we left behind? This kind of living stresses the adrenals and leads to premature aging.

So my challenge to anyone who reads this is to ask yourself if you need to SLOW DOWN. Would it be helpful for you to create some space in your day and reflect upon how you get in your own way? If you want to manifest something in your life, do you have space for it or are you spending energy chasing? The act of chasing actually pushes the goal away.

And, how much of a hurry are you in? Do you Need to have it now or are you willing and able to create the space and trust the proper timing to the Universe?

Ultimately is the goal to prove that you can accomplish or to accomplish while evolving into a peaceful and balanced life.

As the Japanese monk used to say: “So you good practice everyday, soon you get creative life, happy life.”

A guest post copied from my friend Jonathan Hudson’s blog at www.jch.me

The Difference Between You and Elliot Rodgers

When I was 17 years old, waiting to board an airplane, I caught an older couple sneak in a quick kiss. It was the kiss of a couple who’d been together for many years, a mere peck on the lips, a silent “I love you.”

Unremarkable as the kiss was, it provoked feelings of frustration inside of me. I distinctly remember thinking “man, he just got more action than I’ve ever had in my life.”

These days, I run a business which teaches men to be great – for themselves first, then for (and with) the women in their lives. That’s not always how it’s marketed, but it’s how the message ultimately reaches them. My early impediments with women drove me to seek answers, which became passionate learning, which became a mission to share with others. And now, with about half a million newsletter subscribers, I’ve been asked by friends, family and readers to offer some commentary on the UCSB shooting.

In a few short days, many words have been spilled. Mostly, I see shallow reporting, predictable finger pointing, and the typical commentary about public policy. I see reflexive responses on social media, virtual pitchforks being sharpened, and virtual effigies burned.

I wonder when the #NotAllMen hashtag is going to start, because the actions of this idiot, and the misogynistic crap he piled into his brain, are NOT an appropriate characterization of men in general, or even most men who are trying to become better with women.

(edit: apparently there’s already such a hashtag, and people are offended.)

But I don’t think any of that is going to move the needle much. (edit: as evidenced by the hashtag shootout, it doesn’t seem to be). Anyone with a heart will grieve for the lives that were needlessly, and stupidly, ended. Meanwhile the NRA will retrench their position, the anti-gun crowd will raise the banner once again, the PUAs will have some dumb things to say, and the newsmedia will have another series of nonevents to call Breaking News.

Great. But I think that all misses the point, and the real opportunity here.

Elliot Rodgers was unhinged. We don’t know by how much, but we know that his brain operated on the fringes of “well-adjusted.” He was a killer first and foremost, and a misogynist second. It’s unlikely that he had the agency which you and I have: to choose what to focus on… to choose what to believe.

You and I do have that choice.

Let’s consider attitudes towards the opposite sex.

To take a few stereotypes: you can believe that all women are gold-diggers, and that all men are sexual opportunists.

Heck, you can even find research studies or theories of evolutionary biology to back up these beliefs… in either direction. I’ve seen too many men use evolutionary biology to explain away their misogyny, and too many women use sociology to justify their contempt.

Believe these things strongly enough, and you’ll find yourself joining communities of like-minded people. Keep going down this road, and you’ll develop an identity, and maybe even a holy mission. Some of Elliot Rodgers’ influences made names for themselves by spewing hate, fanning the flames of frustration, and offering salvation to those who will “take back what’s rightfully theirs.”

Sound familiar?

Sounds to me like the same playbook that Terry Jones and Osama bin Laden ran.

But when we chose a belief or identity which holds that people who aren’t like us are to be feared – and thus, fought and conquered – we make things worse.

When we choose a belief or identity which holds that we’re entitled to, well, anything – we make things worse.

When we choose a belief or identity which holds that retribution – to ANY degree – is justifiable – we make things worse.

None of that is progress. It’s a black hole.

And I don’t know a way to make things much worse than to hold such a belief about 50% of the world’s population – the opposite sex.

We may never know the genesis of Elliot Rodgers’ beliefs. Right now, it seems like it’s more nature than nurture.

I can speak to the pain of social awkwardness and romantic frustration, and so can many other men who follow me. I’ve met clients who have autism, aspergers, or a general lack of social intelligence. I know the darkness that grows in the heart of those who can’t connect with others.

A Frustrated Lad

A Frustrated Lad

I receive daily messages from men who are hung up on a particular woman. Do they feel entitled to her? No. They just like her, and they want their feelings to be reciprocated. They don’t think it’s their right, but they’d sure like for it to happen. And many of these men will make great boyfriends.

Lost in all of the commentary I’ve seen so far, and also, in many of the less friendly messages I receive, is any sort of sympathy for offering these men a helping hand. “Just be yourself,” they’re told. “If she doesn’t like you, just accept that.”

Well, that attitude drove Van Gogh to cut off his ear. I get frustrated by the shallow answers and the lack of support for men who want to improve with women.

And then there are the endless stories of couples who ended up together because “I didn’t like him at first, but he persisted, and eventually we went out on a date… and twenty years later, here we are.”

The fact is, there’s every reason to be hopeful for men, and women, and men and women together. There’s great information out there for those sane enough to seek it, and more communities of support than ever before. We’ve seen the garbage that Elliot Rodgers’ was feeding upon; great information and great community, it was not.

Yet don’t we know the cycle all too well ourselves? When was the last time you read – with open heart and mind – an opposing viewpoint to your own?

When was the last time you challenged a belief you held?

The prejudices we hold about others are more reflective of our own shortcomings, than they are the group we fear or don’t understand.

When was the last time you thought to make a change in your own heart, instead trying to force your belief upon others?

Changing others becomes infinitely easier when you are the one whose empathy bridges the gap of understanding.

If you’re working with a full deck, then you have the unique privilege of asking how well your beliefs are serving you, and others. And if you feel frustration about the opposite sex, then its time to question how well that’s serving you.

I chose to believe that there are amazing women out there, and sure enough… there are.

I chose to believe that men can go from zero to hero, and I’ve received enough messages to know it to be so.

I chose reconciliation, understanding and love instead of frustration, anger and hate.

I chose to explore my beliefs, to challenge them, and to grow.

If you’re a dating coach, a PUA or men’s right activist, or a voice on gender relations (yes – this goes for feminists too), then the same is demanded of you in this moment.

To those outraged and to those seeking answers, I’d encourage you to do the same. When your beliefs give you the strength to reach out to others with love… to take the time and space to understand them – even those who hate and fear you – that’s the humanity in you at it’s very best.

About the Author: http://www.jch.me/christian-hudson-bio/

I attribute all of my success so far in life to the influence of the incredible mentors I’ve had and have. My mentors have made me who I am and patiently guided me along the path to their skills even when I was an impossible student or learning frustratingly slow. I wish for everyone to have amazing guides…

I am sometimes asked how to find a good mentor so I am composing some thoughts.

I should first differentiate between the role of a mentor and someone from whom you learn. Truth is, we can learn something from everyone. But, a mentor is someone whom you specifically follow to learn a skill.

In America, it has become easy to become an expert/guru at anything simply by stating so on the internet…and using sleek marketing to draw people in. It can be easy to be sucked in by the flash, glamour, and “everyone else is doing it” pressures.

Just because someone claims to be good at something and is on TV, has countless Facebook likes, is a NYT Best Selling Author, or has many, many followers does not mean that person is an expert. Sad, but true. (That is, unless of course, what you are wanting to learn is how to increase your Facebook exposure or how to become a published author.)

Be cautious of those who say they are experts. If someone is marketing him or herself as an expert, chances are they haven’t accomplished much more than convincing you to pay them for their “expertise.” Most of the best mentors out there do not do much self promotion as they would rather convey rather than say. Now, there are exceptions; my friend Bill Walsh is a well known business coach with quite a lot to offer but Bill has proven himself as an extraordinary entrepreneur several times over.

A business coach who has made his or her career being a business coach is generally worth about as much as a business professor who has made his or her career academically professing. Promoting yourself as a guru is a relatively new concept in human history, having really been fueled by the advent of the internet.

Insist on someone with real, in the field, tried and true results. If he or she hasn’t been through all the challenges in their own life, how in the world is he or she going to guide you through your challenges to your success?

So, let’s look at how to distinguish the difference.

Whether you are looking for a spiritual mentor, a business mentor, a music mentor, or a personal trainer, certain common threads apply:

1. Put out to the universe that you want a mentor and make room in your life for what it will take to accommodate having one. Hint: You’re going to have to challenge certain aspects of yourself but that’s part of the trip to growth and change. It’s not all going to be fun; parts of it will seem impossible, but there is no other way to expand your comfort zone, paradigm, and skillset without, well, expanding past your barriers and limitations.

2. Look for someone who is incredibly and truly skilled at what you seek to learn from him or her. Ask around through your network and be discriminating. Don’t run to the closest neighborhood place because it’s convenient. The best teacher for you may not be in your neighborhood, or even in your country.

I have surrounded myself with people who are so far ahead of me in their skill that it’s unlikely I can ever reach their level. I insist on only learning from the best of the best and I have to travel great distances to do so. As an example, when I was a paramedic student, my classmates were learning from other paramedics while I was arranging to spend 100s of hours with doctors in the ER and OR.

*Note: Many are envious of those who are more successful than they are and sometimes even attack or try to shoot that person down out of insecurity around their own shortcomings. Avoid this tendency. Jump at the opportunity to be around someone at a much higher level than you.

Manu, my parkours mentor, demonstrates his skill. You can see just how skilled he is by how he carries himself and how flawless, smooth, and unified his movement is in this simple demo. He is having fun while casually executing these movements which have become as natural to him as walking.

Note that I chose a simple demo so I could point out the qualities of naturalness that a true wizard embodies. Their mastery is evident in the way they make things appear so simple and graceful and that mastery becomes integrated into their being.

3. Look at this person’s background. What has he or she really accomplished beyond convincing you that he or she is an expert? If a “financial psychic’s” only accomplishment is convincing people to pay him or her loads of money for financial advice; guess what: He or she probably is not legitimate.

Note that sadly degrees and certifications may not be an indicator of skill. Again, look more deeply at this person’s results.

4. Look at this person’s personality. Are they humble? Humility is hallmark of true wizards. Humility in this context does not mean false modesty, lack of confidence, or weakness. A humble mentor is one who carries him or herself in a way that conveys said person is continuing to learn and grown. In other words, they aren’t coming off as the one who knows it all.

5. Is this person willing to invest in you? And what can you offer in return?  A mentor-student relationship is one where an agreement is made, on some level, for the teacher to teach and the student to learn. The best mentors will likely look to you to convince him or her to teach you so don’t expect that person to chase you.Karate Kid did get it right with wax on/wax off. Are you willing to follow this person’s advice even when it seems absurd? If not, he or she is probably not the mentor you need.

6. Commit to reaching certain goals and don’t let anything get in your way. In the old days, people learned skills through apprenticeship. That model has been thrown away in favor of slickly packaged courses, programs, memberships, etc. But, the truth is, a mentor is one who knows how to individualize the lessons to what YOU need. It’s not popular to learn in that manner anymore but it is a superior method.

7. Don’t expect compliments in the beginning as the best teachers are not there to stroke your ego. But do be prepared to be pushed as your mentor will know when and how far to push you.

One of my teachers explained to me why he refused to answer questions from students in their first few years of training. He said in the beginning their questions are like kindergarten however after a few years of practice, questions become more like graduate school.

Additional advice for spiritual mentors and life coaches

In Japan with one of my mentors

In Japan with one of my mentors

When looking for a life coach or spiritual mentor, it’s very important to ask yourself

“Is this someone whose life I want to emulate, absorb, and model?”

This is very very important because you’re going to absorb some of your teacher’s energy and personality. If you are looking for someone to help you improve your life, their life better be in order.

I remember a time when a friend called me and said “DJ I’m going to be a life coach. I got certified this weekend.”

My response: “A life coach, huh? Don’t you need a life first?”

It’s mind boggling how many life coaches and spiritual “wizards” are popping up these days. It’s easy to be confused by them and results in the blind leading the blind dynamic.

One thing to look for is:

Who was your teacher’s teacher?

When it comes to my spiritual interests, my teachers had masters whose great-great grandfathers had masters whose great great great grandfathers had masters…

This is very very important and you should insist on nothing less than absolute authenticity. YOU deserve that and you must believe that you are worthy of the very best. And, you must also put your ego entirely aside and allow this person, who is far ahead of you on the path, to guide you. There is no other way.

So there you have it – A few simple pieces of advice on mentors. Happy to answer questions directly here or by private message.


Try this for breakfast or before breakfast –

I became fascinated by Tibetan Bocha butter and salt tea recently. The Tibetans drink this high up in the Himalayas to stay warm and usually prepare it with Yak butter.

I looked more deeply into it and remembered some key things my friend Dr. Nick Karapasas had told me about the importance of certain kinds of smart fats.

So, I’ve created my own version.

Here are the ingredients

1-2 Tablespoons Grassfed Butter
1-2 Tablespoons MCT oil
1 Tablespoon Raw Cacao

First brew your tea or coffee. Then mix the above ingredients in a blender. Drink, enjoy, and smile as you think of all the people downing coffee and donuts for breakfast.

The reason why this works is that you are supplying the proper fats for both brain function, hormone regulation, and fat metabolism. They key is to find butter from grassfed cows as there is a significant difference in the fat structures of butter from cows fed grass and cows fed grains. Kerrygold is a great brand

As I was researching this, I came across an American version called “Bulletproof Coffee.” If you google it, you can find out lots of info.

As usual, the Tibetans, with their intuitive understanding of nature and advanced medical system. created something really super cool and now I’m enjoying my own version with breakfast.


It was a cool fall night in the mountains of Utah and the rest I was trying to get before an all night adventure was proving impossible. I was so excited for what was to come but never could have guessed how monumental a turning point this night would end up being.

I was on the heels of a disaster I had just gone through and was spending a lot of time healing in the area. On my previous visit the man who would become my teacher, to my surprise, said to me “next time you come out, we’ll go ghost hunting.” You see, I had met this shaman years earlier and it seemed to take an endless amount of time to get him to give me the time of day and more years after that to convince him to begin teaching me his ways.

We left to head up into the mountains around midnight. Our destination was a very old cemetery that held the bodies and some of the souls of both Natives and Westerners who had been killed by war, illness, and natural causes. We spent the entire night in that cemetery and over the course of that time, I came to understand there is a veil between the physical and spirit worlds. It seemed my teacher had lifted that veil for me, giving me a glimpse into this other parallel yet mysterious reality.

I was already a senior practitioner of the traditions i had been studying since I was a teenager and was doing my best to bring the Japanese/Vedic fire ceremony to the western world as my teacher had instructed but what I experienced that night ended up being the first initiation that would change the course of my life and path.

Halloween seems the most appropriate time to write about this experience as in America, Halloween has become a very fun holiday with costumes, partying, and imbibing. However looking back over the haunted roots of the holiday can provide us some insights into what happens during this seasonal transition from fall to winter.

It is thought that Halloween developed out of the original Celtic harvest festival of Samhain “sah-win” which ushered in the darker half of the year. Most cultures have some form of harvest festival; in Japanese Shinto, Shyuki Taisai is celebrated to offer food from the harvest and thanksgiving to the deities. It is natural for humans to thank the divine for a prosperous harvest season.

In modern society, of course we have become disconnected from the cycles of nature but a quick look through our past can allow us to more clearly see our roots as human beings who are inseparably bound to great nature. Without the harmony of 4 the elements of


and the abundance of food and blessings of Great Nature (Daishizen), We cannot sustain our existence.

Spiritually, Halloween was a pagan holiday known as All Hallows Eve which was Christianized like many pagan holidays. It is thought to be the day when the veils I speak of above is at its thinnest and spirits are said to more easily be able to come into our world.

The celts believed that during Samhain, the spirits of the dead would return to mingle with the living and the spirits of those who had recently died could more easily transition into the other world. Transition points in the physical world tend to open the gates to the spiritual world and one of the most profound transition times we have is from the abundance of summer to the stillness of winter.

It is believed by many that costumes, jack-o-lanterns, bonfires, and other Halloween traditions were originally used to both ward off evil spirits and aid departed spirits in their journeys. Food offerings were left on doorsteps to aid the spirits of the departed.

That tradition has filtered in our modern culture as a fun dress up holiday.

Samhain became Halloween with the early Christian Missionaries who attempted to convert the celts from their native spirituality. All Hallows Eve was renamed “All Saints Day;” a more Christian appropriate label.

This Halloween we will celebrate with a traditional Japanese Fire Ceremony with Vedic Roots known as Goma. However you spend Halloween, please enjoy yourself and try to remember that with the veil being thinnest, it may be more easily to tap into your intuition and messages from the universe.

In this series I share crystallized moments and profound lessons gleaned from my journey studying various traditions and with teachers around the world with the goal of finding the wisdom to craft my life exactly the way I want it


It was an unusually warm spring afternoon in May of 2013 and I was in San Francisco’s Japan Town. My mentor had come up to spend some time with me to prepare for a trip we were to take to South America which would prove to be life altering.

It was a particularly fun trip because I got to show him all of my favorite spots in my favorite neighborhood in SF where I maintain an apartment and visit Alcatraz for the first time.

We were sitting on a cement bench and talking over some things. I asked him how he juggled trips to the Far East to work with his teacher while being a father and if that had been challenging. I also began to complain about some things in my life that were not exactly as I would have wanted them to be.

You know the feeling right – “If only I could deal with X” or “If Bob would just go away, I’d have so much less stress” or “This situation at work is just holding me back.” We all have plenty of examples of the above and being the Type A person that I am, I am not comfortable feeling restricted.

This teacher always knows exactly what to say and precisely when and how to say it so much so that trying to recount the life changing lesson I was about to get almost seems silly because it was so present, in that moment, in that conversation, and in that energy.

Anyway, he looked up and said:

“You know DJ, I just don’t let things restrict me

Wow. That sounds so simple and like kindergarten advice doesn’t it? I have found in my path through the esoteric that it’s usually the most obvious advice that really isn’t obvious at all. It’s what is right in front of your face that you can’t see and when you do see it, it can be embarrassing.

Kind of like having a friend point out that you have food stuck in your teeth or that your zipper is down.


I took this picture on our subsequent trip to South America

This led me to look into my life and examine what situations and people I was allowing to hold me back. Restrictions act like a ball and chain….they hold us back oftentimes to the point where we don’t even realize they are holding us back.

Yes, when we cut free of them, it’s like realizing you’re driving with the parking brake on.

Imagine you are running with a parachute behind you, you pull out a sword, and cut it free…see what I mean?

As I took the next couple of months to examine what was restricting me…and I mean what was really restricting me…all the insidious little subtle things that pop up in thoughts, words, and actions that were holding me back, I discovered that the well of untapped power was deeper than the last time I looked at it.

How about you? Are there any patterns in your thoughts, words, or actions that others might easily notice about you that you don’t notice yourself?

Do you constantly affirm the same things and then find that you keep complaining about them because magically they are still there?

Well here’s the secret – YOU are creating them and strengthening them.

This is the basis of affirmations in NLP and hypnosis – affirm what you want and allow your mind to create your experience.

I’m taking it a step further –

What are the actual physical tangible things in your life that you want to change because they are restricting you?


What are the unconscious thoughts, words, and actions that you are putting out to the universe that are creating or co-creating exactly what you experience?


What are the attachments you have that keep you from being able to let go. 

As an example of the latter point, consider if you are thinking of moving to a new place, yet you hold yourself back with self chatter like “but I can’t go because I grew up here or (insert any logical excuse.)” That place becomes a restriction.

What if you’re dealing with a difficult client: Do you wish them well and tell them they are a better fit elsewhere knowing the revenue will be replaced or do you let them become a restriction on you because you are attached to the income?

These are just two examples of the many, many different ways we restrict ourselves everyday.

It’s amazing how encumbered we have allowed ourselves to become and how much many of us hold onto things out of fear of letting them go such that they actually become part of our identities. (More on identities later)

There are a lot of programs and people out there that will claim to get you out of your own way but the truth is that only YOU can do it. Others can help but we are the only ones who can pull out the sword and cut away that which we do not need.

In my case, I had a mentor who was there with the exact right words exactly when I needed to hear them.

How about in your case? If you make it a point to pay attention to your own restrictions for a week, what might you find?

In my experiences with my teachers, I’ve come to know that reaching a state of purity is the biggest key to success in life. By purity in this case, I mean paring down the layers of restrictions to get to the core.

Many people look at me and think I have the perfect life and they are right, I do. If I had a dime for every time I heard “ah man you are so lucky…” There is no luck involved.

However, it wasn’t always the case, I created it and continue to create it that way. Life is a never ending process of learning, understanding, experiencing, and letting go.

And ultimately this is about building your personal power and your ability to generate results and happiness in your life. How many unhappy unrestricted people do you know? I’d venture a guess the answer is “hmm not many.”

I’d love to hear your experiences.

Highly recommend exercises like these for full body coordinated power

Here I am working on my stripper career, LOL!

And here is a great bar workout for the entire body

And Jumping and core exercises are some of the most important

Sounds crazy, right?

At one time, I would  have thought so as well. But new research is countering older research and sending us back to our roots. Animals, including humans, have a taste for fat. And it’s not the right kinds of fat that are putting weight on us, it is the sugars, simple carbs, and the refined and processed fats that we eat way too much. Fats are essential and have always been a part of animal diets, grains and sugars have not.

Now here’s the thing – I’m not saying go to the butcher and request all the cow lard you can find and consume it. There are good fats and bad fats. Traditionally research tells us that unsaturated is good and saturated is bad. New research tells us it’s not so simple.

Fats are heavily involved in the production of hormones and proper hormone balance is crucial for everything from longevity to strength to sex drive. Without the right fats, our hormones can’t function optimally.

So what fats to eat? I have 3 suggestions:

Coconut Oil: If you cook only with coconut oil, you will do your body a world of good. Coconut oil is not only comprised primarily of short and medium chain triglycerides but it is also stable for cooking at medium to high heat. The triglycerides in coconut oil have been proven to be thermogenic, meaning they burn fat.

And get this – Coconut is considered one of 3 survival foods; this means you can survive on coconut alone if you had to.

Check out some of the benefits in this article

Note that oils like olive oil are important but should not be used for cooking as they oxidize at low temperatures. Also, it doesn’t taste very coconutty when you cook with it.

Grass Fed Butter: When I heard this one, I thought “Eat more butter? That’s contrary to everything we’ve been taught.” Well think again. The key is not just more butter but specifically grass fed butter. Cows fed a diet of grass (as opposed to standard grains) produce a butter that is very high in conjugated lineoleic acid (CLA), another fat that is key for weight loss and hormonal balance

MCT Oil: A supplement. You can take a tablespoon or two a day or mix it with your salads or smoothies. Medium Chain Triglycerides (A component of coconut oil) are proven to reduce fat deposits. Here’s the research

“Where do I get this stuff?” 

Great question. Whole foods is a good bet. Look for kerrygold butter. Or you can do what I do and just order it online here:

Great Source For Coconut Oil and Grass Fed Butter

I also recommend staying away from Canola Oil. There are a ton of issues with it.

Enjoy your fat…and if you like this article, please like my page before you leave!

I was recently interviewed by Mixergy. In the interview, I discuss my company, creating abundance, manifesting goals, and a spiritual approach to business.

Mixergy Interview